Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize