It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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