Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
