I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize