you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
