Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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