I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
