I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
