i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
