it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
this boner is exhausting
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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