Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
