I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Holy shit dude........stairs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
