I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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