I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i think im in europe. pls send help
My vagina just clenched in fear
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
