Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize