White coat. Heels.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
