everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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