thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize