oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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