Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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