Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
