Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Porn is love you can see.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
