Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize