I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I understand Curling. That high.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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