This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
