Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
