They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
