i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
