i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
