I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
