Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
