You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
