Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
