Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
