Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
