She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
