i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
