Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
