This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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