Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
