So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
