singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
