Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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