I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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