He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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