life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
