So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
