i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
