At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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