can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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