Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize