Walk of Shame. In a state park.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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