I cockslap morals
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
