its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize