Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Randomize
