his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
