I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
