I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
