They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
