would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
