he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
