The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
