I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
