so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
