I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
