Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
