oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
