do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
