i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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