why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Less talking, more tequila
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
