omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Drake has all the answers
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