champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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