Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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