I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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