Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
