Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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