Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
